She was a soldier, just not for the US Military

Her uniform consisted of jeans and her favorite t-shirt, and her daily drills included laundry, dishes and taking care of the kids and pets. Every day since Sept. 16, 1978 she struggled with the immense pain and tragic loss of of finding our mother after she shot and killed herself, we were 10 years old and our twin brothers were 2 years old.

My sister suffered from PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a term mostly associated with veterans and or current military servicemen. PTSD is defined on WebMD as being a lasting consequence of traumatic ordeals that cause intense fear, helplessness, or horror, such as a sexual or physical assault, the unexpected death of a loved one, an accident, war, or natural disaster. She lived 36 years serving others until April 22nd 2014 when she took her own life just the way our mother did.

In that time she endured neglect, emotional, physical and mental abuse, at the hands of our father who went on to sexually abuse both of us. We were separated from our beloved twin brothers and we even entered the foster care system. What each of us Kym, Walter, Scott and I saw and were subjected to is nothing short of a torrid tragedy. Walter and Scott would lose their father, our step father to suicide when they were 19, now a sister at the age of 37.

Kym left 2 sons, a step son and daughter, a husband and countless others a sea of carnage to navigate and many struggle with anger, guilt, feelings of inadequacy and abandonment and I would never tell you what she did was right. What I will say is she fought, she was a fierce protector, a passionate advocate and she gave without taking. She survived horrible criminal acts committed against her and she was abandoned in a violent manner.

We all dealt with these events and actions differently. Walter moved away from the city his parents are laid to rest, he made a life and family which he loves and is loved in return along with a great career. Scott has an incredible family and has used his struggles to help him triumph and owns a successful business, I have stumbled from time to time but am much like Scott, he and I understand destructive behaviors and yet we have still been given undeniable grace and lots of luck. Kym was loved, her beautiful family embraced her but she spent 36 years reliving that day, she spent 36 years looking back, the rest of us either looked forward or put as much distance as possible between the hurt and where it happened.

Kimberly (Kym) Rose retired from battle on a Tuesday morning, leaving many scars, questions and sadness, but it was never her intent to hurt anyone, I know this because of her last message to me and her children and husband. I know this because I was beside her for 46 years through our mother and father. I know this because I know her pain. She was a lover, a fighter, a wife, a mother, a sister, a grandmother, an aunt, a cousin, a niece and she was a soldier.

When I find myself looking at pictures of her, my heart aches, I feel such sadness but I feel she finally knows peace. I miss and love you sissy, I always will.